There is a curious study by Albert Megrabian and Ray L. Berdvistel, who came to some stunning conclusions: verbal communication accounts for only 7%! The rest of our communication is nonverbal: by voice (timbre, intonation, volume), by body language (posture, gait, movement, and gestures), and by facial expressions (eye and facial muscles). These 8 techniques will help you establish contact with your interlocutors in a nonverbal way.
Consider Eye Color
It turns out that the time of ideal eye contact is 3-5 seconds. During this time, it is possible to attract the interlocutor, but at the same time not to show your intrusiveness. In order not to count the seconds that have passed, just try to look at the color of the person’s eyes.
Allow Time to Warm up
Our interlocutor also needs to look around and form an opinion about us. This is not sports betting Ghana where you have to make a decision right away to increase your chances to win. It is better to give the other person a little time, not more than a minute. Then during the rest of the conversation the person will not be distracted, noticing new details in our behavior, because he has already had time to consider us.
Point the Toe of Your Foot in the Direction of the Interlocutor
When we sit in a foot-to-toe pose, it is better to point the toe of the shoes toward the person. This gesture helps to reduce the social distance because it is subconsciously perceived as an attempt to get closer.
Mock Machine Gestures
Sometimes we need time to think about what we hear. A gesture you are used to is perfect for this. The gesture should look machine-like so as not to arouse suspicion in the person you are talking to. For example, you can wipe your glasses, try to sit comfortably in a chair, or a loose lock of hair. The key thing is not to do it too often, otherwise, it will be an irritant.
Questioning
The basis is leading questions. Asking your interlocutor for clarification is aimed at making it easier to understand and letting them know that we care about what they are talking about. It is also a way to gently point out to another person that he is not expressing himself accurately or clearly to the listener.
Examples of clarification questions: “Clarify, did I hear you correctly?”; developmental: “Could you elaborate and clarify what you mean?”; attitudinal: “How do you feel about this and what do you think?”; comprehension: “Could you use a concrete example to explain this?”
Revealing Your Shortcomings
If you’re an insecure person who thinks he has a lot of flaws – well, unobtrusively tell them to your partner. First, it actually brings people closer: a person is more willing to enter into a trusting relationship with someone who, like him, is imperfect and not afraid to say so.
Secondly, you get a critical look at your shortcomings, which others may consider advantages. As a result, you will have established a rapport with the person and a benefit o your self-esteem.
Paraphrasing or Verbalizing
Paraphrasing means to express the same thought of the speaker, but in your own words. We give voice to the essence we have heard in the words of the interlocutor so that he can evaluate whether it is understood correctly. This is a signal to the interlocutor that you are trying to understand him.
Determine When to Be Silent
Not all people like communication – many people are used to spending most of the time alone and feel great. So try to determine when a person is in the mood to talk and when it’s best to leave them alone. Believe me, your attention in this matter will help to find common ground with anyone.
Summary
In a nutshell, you have to show your interlocutor that you are interested in him or her. This is best done in non-verbal ways, but it’s better to summarize in your own words. So we show that we are not just automatically retelling the words of the interlocutor, but remember them, analyze them, and come to a conclusion. As a result, it becomes easier to find a true friend.
